


I want to break you

by SiblingCruel



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Bohemian Rhapsody, M/M, Queen - Freeform, Suicide, dont expect anything, idk why I write this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-25
Updated: 2018-11-25
Packaged: 2019-08-29 06:12:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16738591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SiblingCruel/pseuds/SiblingCruel
Summary: Roger and Brian just broke up. Roger and John falls in love instead. Brian is broken. Mad of jealousy, he does whatever he can to ruin his friends relationship.





	1. Chapter 1

It’s been a while since Roger and Brian broke up now.

It had taken so long for Roger to realize how poisonous they were to each other. Yet they needed one another and somewhere deep inside there was still love, fierce love burning like fire. But it had to end. He knew it hurt Brian, but he had to break up. Besides he had feelings for someone else now.

John.

It started like a little push, and then it hit him hard all at once. John seemed to feel the same.

One day Roger asked him out. He was surprised when John said yes, almost jumping up and down in excitement.

And that’s how it all started. Sometimes Roger regrets ever asking John out, wondering if things would be different now if he hadn’t. Most fucking likely.

* * *

 

John and Roger soon became inseparable. They were always holding hands, taking every opportunity they had to sneak away during repetitions. Freddie was amused by this. Brian however, was not. He felt like someone stabbed him every time he saw them, every time he saw Roger looking at John with dreamy eyes, just the way he used to look at Brian. He tried to hold back tears when he saw them sneak away, probably making out behind some corner. Brian forced himself not to leave during repetitions. Forced himself to stay, to contain his sadness, his jealousy.

His anger.

 

To John it was like a dream coming true. Ever since they first met, John had always liked Roger. Whenever Roger smiled at him, he felt a light tingle inside and he always looked away, not wanting Roger to catch him blushing. His feelings towards Roger grew stronger over the years, despite Roger and Brian being together. John had always been the quiet one, he knew that. How could Roger ever want someone like him? The bassist.  
Of course he would prefer Brian, the guitarist. Everyone always preferred the guitarist. Yet he couldn’t help but imagine Roger and him together, wishing that some day it would come true.

And one day, it did.

Their first date went well, somehow.  
Roger drove them to some restaurant and he remember John spilling water all over the place. Twice. And whenever Roger what about to say something he almost choke on some piece of food. But otherwise everything went smoothly.  
They talked about everything, life, music, Freddie’s clothes. The musicians soon realized they had so much more in common than they expected. Roger remember driving John home. When he was about to leave John suddenly grabbed his arm and pulled him close. They were looking into each other’s eyes. Then it happened. John leaned in and kissed him.

Roger backed away in surprise but regretted it immediately. He saw Johns face turning tomato red and there was a hint of panic in his eyes. Roger froze. He fucked up. He fucking ruined everything. Roger couldn’t move but he wanted to scream, to grab John and kiss him fiercely. Neither of that happened. Instead he saw John back way inside. “Wait” he burst out, just before the door closed. John looked back at him.

“I love you.”

 

 

Everything happened so fast after that. Roger and John started seeing each other every day after work. And it didn’t take long before they started spending nights together. The first time was stiff and awkward. It always is. But soon they couldn’t be without one another. It felt so right. But somewhere deep inside Roger felt a pang of guilt. He knew Brian wasn’t happy with this. He could see the pain in his eyes, which immediately was replaced with anger when their gazes met. He wanted to talk to him, but Brian always avoided him so Roger decided to leave him be. He needed time. At least that’s what Roger thought. If he knew what was to come he would’ve talked it out no matter what Brian said.

Instead he pushed the thoughts of Brian away, tried to forget him. He was happy now. He and John were happy together and nothing could get in between them.

  
How wrong he was.

* * *

 

  
One day everything changed.

  
Freddy was late for work, again. John, Roger and Brian was waiting for him to show up. “I’m going to the bathroom, I won’t be long” John said and left the room.

Brian was busy tuning his guitar, obviously avoiding Roger. Roger on the other hand was looking at the guitarist. He wanted to say something but didn’t know where to start. “Hey Brian” he tried. No answer. Roger was silent for a moment. How on earth would he fix this? Brian was clearly broken. He always looked tired and his eyes were filled with a dull sadness.

“How are you?” Roger finally said, not really expecting any reaction from his former lover. To his surprise, Brian looked up from his guitar and met Roger’s eyes.

Something was different this time though. Instead of the usual look of sadness or anger, something mischievous glimmered in his eyes. “I’m okay” he simply said. Roger didn’t know where this was going but he decided to keep trying.

“I’m... sorry, for everything” he said quietly and turned his gaze down, avoiding Brian’s strangely curious eyes. ”It’s fine, Roger. I know you are happy with John” Brian said. Roger looked up again. Was he joking? Roger couldn’t believe his ears.

“But...” Brian started, looking down at his guitar again “I’m not so sure John is happy with you”

  
Before Roger could ask him what he meant, the door opened and John came back inside.

“Told you I wouldn’t be long”

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for such a short chapter. Will update soon again:3

It was Friday and John had planned a dinner at his place for Roger. It was a sort of surprise, so he didn’t intended to ask him until after work.

Roger had started packing his stuff when John approached him “Hey Roger! Um, I was gonna ask you something” He said and smiled. The drummer looked up. Something was wrong, John could tell just by looking at his lover.

“What?” Roger asked dryly. John looked down and started nervously fumbling with his fingers. “Um, I was wondering if you’d like to eat dinner at my place”  
Roger lifted his other eyebrow  
“Today?” He asked. John nodded. “Yes, I know this came out a little fa-“ he started but was cut off by Roger. “I’m sorry Deacy, not today. I’m quite busy” Roger put a hand on John’s shoulder briefly, before grabbing his things and leaving the studio.

John was left with a lump in is throat. He wouldn’t normally worry about it, but something about Roger was...  
off.

Brian was the first one to leave the studio, but soon he saw something blonde catch up with him from behind.

He turned around to see Roger’s exhausted looking face. “Hey Bri, what did you mean earlier?” Roger asked, his eyes piercing the guitarist, forcing him to stay. “I’m sorry I don’t know what you’re talking about” Brian’s said with a chuckle. “Oh yes you do” Roger continued, he started imitating the guitarist’s voice “ _I’m not so sure John is happy with you,_  what the hell does that mean?!” Roger spat.

Brian sighed deeply. “Oh you mean that thing...” Brian paused dramatically “well, I don’t want to ruin your relationship or anything but...” he paused again.

“But...???” Roger filled in, clearly annoyed. “John is with someone else, some girl. I’m really sorry Rog, I didn’t want to be the one telling you this” Brian said quietly. Roger froze. It felt like his heart had stopped beating and his blood had turned to ice. He couldn’t move, he couldn’t breathe. “You’re lying” Roger exclaimed hoarsely. Brian slowly shook his head

“I wish I was, Rog”


	3. Chapter 3

The following days the mood had been somewhat stiff in the band, Freddie could tell. What it was that caused it, he had no clue.

Freddie noticed how Roger always seemed distant. He avoided all of them, especially John.

Whenever the bassist talked to him, Roger would simply ignore him or give him an ice cold look before looking away. Freddie didn't really know if he should try talking to Roger or just leave him alone. It could be something personal that would only get worse if he brought it up. At the same time, Roger looked quite distressed and maybe needed a friend to talk to. John didn't look well either. He was quieter than usual and always the first one to leave the studio at the end of the day. It worried him a little, so one day Freddie decided to do something about it. But first, he would try to find out more about what was going on.

 

* * *

  
  
  
Brian had just finished tuning his guitar when Freddie turned to them.

"Isn't it rather tense here?" He asked and looked at his friends. Brian shrugged, pretending not to notice Roger's glare.

"Why don't we all go out and get totally wrecked tonight?" Freddie continued "I feel like you guys need to get warm, it's freezing cold in here."  
  
Roger snorted. Brian shrugged again and John sat quietly, looking down to the floor. Brian looked at John and suddenly felt a pang of guilt. Brian caused this. Roger and John were happy together. They really had something serious going on, not just something driven by desire. Something real. Something he would have had with Roger if it wasn't for him.

Suddenly Brian turned bitter again. No, John caused this. He deserves this. John took Roger away from him, now he had to pay for it.

So far everything went on according to plan, but Brian knew it wouldn't be enough. Soon Roger would notice John wasn't cheating on him and everything would go back to normal. It would also put his and Rogers friendship at risk. Brian had to think fast. How could he possibly make things even worse?  
  
"Well are you coming along or not?" Freddie asked the band impatiently. Suddenly Brian knew what to do. "Yeah sure, I'm on" He said and stood up.

 

* * *

 

 

Roger was lying on his bed. He and the rest of the band was supposed to meet at some local pub within thirty minutes. He decided not to go, it would just be the usual shit. He and Freddie would get shitfaced and barely able to walk, and either John or Brian would have to drive them home.

John.

Roger's heart ached whenever the name of his lover popped up in his mind. He didn't dare to ask John whether what Brian said was true or not. He was afraid of the answer. What if he confessed that he was with another woman? Or worse, what if he denied it... How could he possibly know if John was lying or not?

Roger's eyes were filled with tears. This had to stop. Roger sat up. It wasn't fair to John, he had treated him like shit lately and the both of them deserved better. Roger sniffed and wiped away his tears. He was gonna go and clear things up.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry for not updating in so long lmao, i hope you enjoy xD

John, Freddie, and Brian got themselves a table inside the bar and waited for their blonde friend to arrive. John fidgeted his fingers nervously, not really paying attention to Brian and Freddie's conversation.

He thought about Roger.

He couldn't possibly understand what had gotten into him. Roger had not said a kind word in a whole week, just rude remarks or insults. Most of the time just ignoring John. Was it something he'd done? Could it somehow be his fault? John tried to remember if he had said something that might have triggered Roger. Nothing, he couldn't think of anything.

The familiar little "ping" sound when the door opened, pulled John back to reality. Anxiously the bassist looked up. The sight of Roger made his stomach turn. He wanted to run, run as far away as possible and not looking back. He got this really bad feeling that something terrible would happen. Roger stood still for a moment, looking for his friends.

“There you are darling, come and join us!” Freddie shouted from their table. Roger’s eyes fell upon them and he nodded barely noticeable, smiling slightly. John didn’t dare look at the blonde man as he approached them. He couldn’t meet those cold eyes once more, it would literally make him start crying like a baby, despite being in public. Roger sat down in the chair in front of him, of course. John looked away. He could hear Roger sigh tiredly, knowing the drummer was looking at him. There was a moment of silence between the bandmates, no one really knowing what to say. Finally, Roger broke the silence.

“John, we need to talk”

 

* * *

 

 

Briand followed his friends movements very closely, looking for signs of hurt feelings, confusion, jealousy. A break up.

The guitarist observed his former lover. Roger had been crying, Brian could tell. His eyes were red and weary. Brian wished he could tell him everything was alright, that John wasn’t cheating on him. That it all was just a cruel joke. Brian had to remind himself that it would be better this way. Once Roger and John breaks up, Brian would be there for Roger and give him comfort and everything he needed. He would give Roger so much more than that stupid bassist ever could offer him. Brian turned his gaze to John. In an instant, all the hatred and bitterness he felt towards the younger man suddenly paled off. John looked like he was about to panic, with his eyes closed and a sickeningly distressed expression.

Suddenly Brian regretted everything. What was he doing?! John was his friend!

Brian opened his mouth, just about to tell his bandmates the truth when Roger spoke instead.

 

“John, we need to talk” Roger paused. John didn’t respond so the drummer continued. “I’m sorry I’ve been such a prick lately. I’m really sorry…”

John looked up slowly. Their eyes met for a split second before looking away again. “But I’ve heard some rumours lately and I-“ Roger trailed off, struggling to keep his emotions from taking the wheel. He took a deep breath, bracing himself for whatever answer he may get.

“Is it true? That you’re with someone else?” Roger barely whispered.

Freddie was listening intensely to the drama between his two friends. Brian was holding his breath without really knowing it. John looked at Roger again, his eyes widening.

Suddenly John burst out laughing. The other bandmembers were slightly shocked by this sudden reaction. John just kept laughing. Roger didn’t know how to react. What could this mean? Was he laughing at him? At how pathetic he was for believing they could be together? Roger’s face was slowly turning red of embarrassment. “Is that it?” John asked, still laughing “And you seriously believe I would cheat on you??” John suddenly turned all serious. Roger shrugged slightly, trying not to show how nervous he was. “Darling, I don’t think John would cheat on you if you so held a fucking gun to his head” Freddie snapped with an amused tone. John chuckled.

“It’s true Roger, I would never do that. I- I love you” The brunette said, blushing slightly. Roger felt like someone had punched him in the face. How could he ever think of John as unfaithful? John was probably the most loyal person he knew. Roger felt a bit guilty, at the same time relieved. It was clear John wasn’t lying. Roger sighed in relief. Everything would go back to normal. Perhaps he could convince John into moving in with him. Or maybe they could buy their own place, a little house perhaps? Roger smiled at the thought. He looked at his boyfriend and smiled even wider. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what I was thinki-“ Roger started, but was unexpectedly cut off by a voice from behind.

“John! My little Johnny boy!” A female voice exclaimed. Before they anyone could react, a young woman came out of nowhere and launched herself at John, wrapping her arms around him and giving him a big sloppy kiss. Everyone at the table froze. Especially Roger.

Brian closed his eyes, trying not to drown in guilt.


End file.
